When I held my first-born, I never imagined I would one day join a club that no parent wants to be a part of. Sadly on May 29, 2015 I was handed a non refundable membership to the club of bereaved parents.

I am a 59-year-old mother of two. I am a nurse. These days when I’m asked how many children I have, the answer the answer doesn’t come easily. Do I answer “2?”  Do I answer 2, a son and a daughter. Adding that my son died a year and a half ago.” Do I answer “1” which is today’s truth but diminishes the over 26 years I was a mother of a son as well as a daughter?  The answer is not simple.  Depends on situation, my mood, where I find myself on the grief path that day.

I am writing this blog as an adjunct to my personal journal. Knowing that the words written are not as private as those written in my paper and pen journal. These words will always live in cyber space.  Somehow for me these words flow easier.

While I write this journal for personal reflection, I realize others may stumble upon them in their search for support and answers in their grief. If these words give anyone some glimmer of hope that life can go on after a child’s death, it will give value to my loss.

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May 29, 2015, my son died in a single car collision on the Oregon Coast. The truth of his accident was that he was driving while impaired. But that fact does not define who my son was or the enormity of his loss to his family and friends. Kind, funny, big-hearted, strong and competent, Jeff will always be my first-born, my only son. Our family of four is now a family of three. We will always feel like a puzzle with a missing piece.

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This is a contact page with some basic contact information and a contact form.